Twain-isms

I Stumbled across a site today that had a bunch of famous quotes by the brilliant Mark Twain. And one caught my eye and then another, and so I decided to write a little something something about some of the quotes that jumped out at me. Mark Twain although brilliant was in my opinion revolutionary for his day. In fact many things he said would be disregarded in this day and age, and yet so much of what he wrote and what he said has lived on. So I think there is something to it. And I am here to explore these Twain-isms a little bit further.
The first one that caught my eye was, "Don't let school interfere with your education."
Perhaps it is the complete relevancy of this quote or perhaps it is the fact that for students, it really sticks it to the educational establishments. Many people would see this as a rebellious statement selling free love and a good time. I do not however believe this is what Twain intended. I believe that this statement was meant for everyone. It was meant for the students who are in school. It was meant for the alumni who are off leading successful lives now living and practicing what they learned in the hallowed halls of a university. And maybe this quote also applies to those who never quite made it that far. This quote although it may spark controversy, is not in fact rebellious at all; this statement describes deeper the education that each of us encounter daily. Whether we are in a school building or not.
To those who are still in a school building, I believe this is the most relevant as well as the most obvious! Although not solely, this statement was for students who are nose deep in books. I pay (well student loans, but I will someday soon!) a lot for my college education. I transferred school districts in high school so that I could get the best education I possibly could. But if you were to ask me what I remember from my 10th grade history class (sorry Crowley!) I couldn’t tell you! If you were to ask me about market curve diagrams from second year micro economics....well I don’t think I saw enough of the classroom to tell you that. But I have learned so much about who I am and about this crazy thing we do everyday called life, then I would gladly pay one hundred times more! Education has very little to do with the building we go to. But it is the people that fill our lives everyday. I think the real education comes from throwing two strangers into a little box and say, "ready go..." to them! They used to do the same thing in ancient Rome only the dorm room was a lot bigger and there were thousands of people watching as they fought it out! How do you get along with someone who you don’t know and are forced to see in their underwear? And yet, out of this strange social situation, I have found the most rewarding relationships. We are forced to have some interaction even if you are anti-social. We learn how to put up with uncomfortable people in uncomfortable situations and how to turn that into a cohabitational relationship and living space. Often like what is seen in the real world during business meetings or uncomfortable golf trips with the boss. The situations outside of the classroom set us up for what happens while we are not in our cubicles.
So what happens once we leave our four or five years of institutional freedom? What happens when all the preparation is tested and we are forced to see if our investment of time money and late night cramming has paid off? Seeing as how Twain was far from simple minded, I believe that his quote, "Don't let school interfere with your education" refers also to the limits we often set on ourselves. Once we are out of college we still have much to learn. In fact our academic education only accounts for about one forth of our lives. Which means that for three fourths we are....well what? Do we stop learning? Should we limit ourselves to only learn k-12 and in the colleges. I think as students we have a notion that after college we are home free. But I am positive that I will have to throw away many of the textbooks that I was supposed to read and do by experience. College is only the tools in my tool belt. After I have the tools I have to spend the rest of my life mastering how to use them. I wonder how many tools I will have left unused in 25 or 30 years? What do I know now that I will forget I have and start to collect dust? Will I still remember the harmonica? Right now I only have the fond memories and some dusty medals of the tae-kwon-do champion that I once was. How many adults out there have let the fact that they are no longer in school, hinder them from getting an education. There are many adults who still don’t understand modern technology. I remember showing my dad my Nintendo 64 for the first time, and he was astonished at the graphic and realistic quality of Madden! There is no place like a dorm room to learn video games, so where will I learn about technology? I pray that as I get older, I will only expound on what I have learned and continue seeking education whether from school or from the computer tech guy I will most likely need to hire! Adults don't know everything, but I think as long as they know that, they are in good shape.
And what about the third school. The school that each of us go to involuntarily each day. It is a universal certainty. Even if we do nothing we will learn something. It is our nature to learn and adapt. Even feral children take on characteristics of their surroundings. For an example, there was a feral child who lived in Eastern Europe and he lived with dogs. He learned to speak and behave like them. He had no choice, while we learn how to adapt to a human society; he learned how to adapt to the only society that would take him. I know many people who didn't go to college who are successful and BRILLIANT! Why, because they didn't let the absence of school get in the way of their education. Had they stuck to common belief they would have filled their rolls as McDonald's workers and settled. But know, they worked hard to continue their education far beyond what the class room could give them.
And so Twain in a somewhat simple statement, inspires much more. He inspires hope and freedom, even though school can often become tiresome. He urges us, Don’t give up on learning just because you aren’t in the class. In fact that is quite a boost! When you don’t feel like going to class or getting up and attacking the day, just remember life has a lot to teach. And just like attendance in school; the more you go, the more learn!

Useless

I am in full time ministry right now. And it is daunting! I have been called to do a great work and I have no clue what I am supposed to do. No you may be saying, “Ben your not a pastor or anything right?” And no I’m not a pastor or a worship leader; in fact I skipped church this morning. But there is not one person God hasn’t called into the ministry. He said, “Go into all the world and preach the good news!” Well that’s where I am…I am in the world, all different parts and I am doing my best to share Gods love. But have you ever just felt like your ministry was at a standstill.. Like how can I be doing Gods work when nothing is getting done! Heck I didn’t even go to church this morning! (I feel real guilty that’s why I keep bringing it up!) How am I supposed to win souls when I have nothing to work off of! Well I was thinking about that and I wrote this….

Lord what would you have of me? I know I am made for more but what? With everything you’ve given me I feel like I am squandering it all away! And that breaks my heart, cause I know it breaks yours! SO WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO???......
(This is when I just writing and started listening! It’s amazing what you hear when you shut up! Then He spoke this word to me…)

God what can I do? Nothing! I’m amazed at how many times I come to that conclusion?! As if I’ve never heard it before! All I have to give is everything that I am. I’m not much BUT with God I can do anything! God isn’t going to say, “Here are your orders, do em!” That isn’t the God I serve. It’s not like he is the task master and he is just using use to accomplish something. He wants us to be part of it. He wants us to see Him at work through us.

It would be like God telling me, “Ben, I want you to build a skyscraper!” And I would say, “OK great…HOW?” And then God would say, “Well you didn’t want to know the how, you wanted to know what!”

So then what? I go start building a skyscraper on my own and screw it up. Why? Because I have not been equipped with the training needed to build skyscrapers. It would be unstable, faulty, and incomplete. And at the end I would look at God and say, “There! My life is complete! I have done what you ask.” But did I? The skyscraper would not be the building God intended me to build. It would be only what my hands could accomplish. Ok enough with the metaphor…

I know God has a plan for my life. If he were to tell me what it Is, I know I would go try it on my own, and in the end not be anywhere near what God had in mind for me. And God’s idea of blessing his children is so much better!

The Funny thing is, God doesn’t want to hold anything back from us. It’s not like he’s not going to show us the next step. But we need to ask him. Asking every Sunday morning doesn’t work! It takes daily walking with him discovering who he is for us to discover who we should be!

So for those who feel lost, or like they aren’t being effective in ministry; take heart, God is with you every step of the way! Just keep pressing in to him. Daily look to him and remember the tough times we go through are how God equips us to do what he has called us to do.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6

Erasmus

I am faced with a harsh reality, I am only visiting Ireland. I cant believe my time is halfway through already. I am not ready to leave. It is like narnia here. Time is irrelevant, and it is a world of its own. I know the universe continues around me but at this moment I stand still. I drag on trying to capture every moment, every laugh, every tear. All the while the world keeps spinning and life keeps on moving. I have learned so much about life and myself here. It is a life boot camp with an education thrown in to help me out later on. But what I am learning now….that is life. This is what I am going to use in the real world. Kids always ask, “When am I ever going to use this?” And I know, I am going to use this everyday for the rest of my life. It is an ongoing lesson that never stops teaching. But finally, it is coming to an end. At least this part of the lesson.
I am sure there is much, much more to learn back home; but for some reason it just doesn’t seem the same. I mean I miss back home a lot don’t get me wrong, but I know that home will always be there. But this, what we have stumbled upon in Ireland, is something unique. It could never be duplicated no matter how hard we tried! And so I know that this is the last time I will see Erasmus 2008. I know I will stay in touch with many people for years to come, but it will never be the same. This is literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. It is like the ocean swirling in the tide, although you can look at it, it is always changing, and what you once saw will never be the same again. And so I am saddened. But at the same time looking forward to what lies ahead. We are not done yet and i know that many more times are still to be had! These people have become more than just other students that I know, and many have surpassed friends. There is family here. I have a new family in 151. We may not be much but we are close and we care about each other! As well as others that I don’t live with. They say home is where the heart is, well my heart is here! I feel at home in Ireland. The people here make me feel like I belong with them. I may not be French, or Spanish, or Romanian, or any other of the amazing nationalities represented here, but we are all one in the same. We are Erasmus

Declaration

SO I think that some people misunderstood where that last note was coming from. I did however find out that I have some of the most amazing and supportive friends on the planet and so I want to say thank you to those people! But I do want to clarify just what that note was about.
I know I said a lot, and maybe it was kinda emo but whatever. I just really needed to vent! Usually when I need to think I just start writing and then things become clear, I felt this one I was supposed to do in public. I wouldn't say that I am different to different people, in fact I think I am quite transparent for the most part, at least I’m trying to be. But I was tired of who I was, or more the road that I was walking down, and I felt that it would be easier to change if those closest to me..aka…all my friends on facebook :)…..knew what I was going through and why I was doing what I was doing.
But mainly, last night was more of a Declaration of Dependence. A light went on last night where things cleared up for me and I saw a glimpse of where I was supposed to be headed. And so I stated my grievances, made my terms, and set forward to do what I have been called to do! It wasn’t a poor me letter, it was a rejoice with me because who I am hates who I’ve been and it is time to go onward and upward! It is now time for me to start living! And not just getting by but living life to the fullest. I once read, “The Glory of God, is man FULLY alive!” and that is my goal. To glorify God in the way we have all been called. To assess our lives and see are we truly living? Are we living in the freedoms that God has promised us? Freedom from sin, freedom from guilt, freedom from worry!!! We are all in different places in our lives and so I don’t claim to know where everyone stands, but believe me there is so much more to life than what we are living! I find day by day God wants to show me more how I can live. He said, “I have come that you may have life more abundantly!” And that’s what I realized last night. And so it’s a party! Una fiesta! I am so happy at where I am in my life and I am so happy with where I am going! I don’t really know where I am going, and for those of you who were wondering no I am not dropping out of school and becoming a monk. Although those Tibetan monks are pretty sweet!!! But I have been called to be a student in Ireland right now and that’s what I am going to do! To the best of my ability! And I know I am still going to sleep through my Monday lab at nine occasionally or forget a homework assignment, but I am ok with that. Because I am working on becoming who I am supposed to be, and I’m not perfect yet!

Searching

So I am in the most beautiful place on the face of this planet, and yet I want more. I am not lonely or alone, in fact I am making some of my best friends, and meeting so many wonderful people, this is nothing less than a blessing. I have people back home that miss me dearly. And people that I miss dearly. I am not homesick...I have gotten over that already cause I am not longing for home. I am longing for something more than this existence that I have found so comfortable. I have tried drinking...turns out not as much fun as they say. Some may disagree with me, but it’s not for me. Don’t get me wrong I still enjoy a pint of Guinness listening to some music in a pub, but that isn’t what I came here for. This life that I have found is not me! I hate skipping classes, I hate getting behind, I hate being late, I hate not doing homework. But it is so much easier. It is comfortable. As the song says I have become "comfortably numb" to what I have found myself in. I guess it is easier not to fail if I don't try. And although I thought I was over my fear of failure it turns out I just learned how to cope with it. I stopped trying. When things get difficult I quit. Then when I do fail I don’t feel bad because I really didn’t care either way. And so I find myself missing life, stuck in sub-adequacy. Because I am not even inadequate, it drops below that, inadequacy describes something that doesn’t measure up. What I am living doesn’t even bother to get measured. Thankfully God has blessed me with a smart enough brain that I can fool most of those around me. A friend of mine once gave me a degree in BS. And it is true; I am a master of making it on the spot, waiting till the last minute, just getting by.
So why did I just confess all that, well I don't really know...? Maybe because I am sick of living it. I have been called for so much more than what I have been living. My God has called me to move mountains and I am so terrified that I can’t do it I just hide. We all know how that turned out for Jonah! (In case you don’t he got eaten by a whale then thrown up and went to do what god had told him.) In case you were ever wondering (and maybe you weren’t! I don’t care! lol) Yes I have been called into ministry. God keeps on reminding me of it over and over. I don’t know what it is yet but I know that he has a plan for me that is so amazing I don’t want to miss out. A really smart guy (my dad!) told me that ministry is the hardest job in the word, and if you’re not called to do it then you will fail, but if you have been called it will be the most rewarding thing in the world!
And I believe him, I am not even in actual ministry and I am still finding it to be the most difficult thing in the world. Mainly because I don’t have any frikin idea what I am supposed to do. And so that is where I am right now...searching. I am trying to find the thing that the deepest part of me is crying out for! No money, travel, girls, alcohol, or good company will ever fill that. It is only Him, and only me. He is all I want and all I need.
So please pray for me! Pray that I will find what God is trying to show me here. And that He will put people in my life here that I can be accountable to and become the type of people healthy for my life! And that I will have the strength to do what I have been called to do. Which right now is school, and all the things that go along with that!

Failte!

Well I thought it would be best for everyone if I created a public place for people to kinda catch up on whats going on in my life! God is good and constantly showing me new things and i like that, so i want to write them down. So here are some of my older ones from Facebook as well as a new one or two!